How to date an Orthodox girl
So, where do we begin, then? Since this subject is not so much coverage in the media, there are so many aspects, Western people do not fully understand. We should probably start with some general information and explain the main principles of Orthodox Christian dating. Without knowing them, you would not be able to comprehend those rules that will be placed below in the text.
Above all, we need to mention that in the Orthodox Church teachings, much emphasis had been placed on the topic of relationships between men and women. Mainly, this religion offers young spirits two possible ways of living: starting a family or choosing life-long chastity in the name of God. Neither one of these options needs further approval by a priest. However, here we won’t talk about the girls who have decided to remain virgins because this rules out the possibility of entering into a relationship per se. You need to find out all absolute facts about those who, as Christian Orthodox, don’t mind dating and creating a family with the time.
Still, not all kinds of relationships popular in the Western world are accepted by this religion. What actually is prohibited, after all?
Casual dating/open relationship (marriage)
This type of relationship between men and women is seen as a colossal mistake, the work of the devil. Why is it so? The whole idea of casual dating is wrong. From the Orthodox perspective, it is believed to be nothing else but an irresponsible attitude towards your significant other. Relationships and marriage have sacred meaning in this faith. It requires having only one partner and doesn’t allow constant changes in this regard. The violation of this unwritten law, caused by selfishness, often leads to mental imbalance, and that’s not good at all.
Unfortunately, nowadays, young singles take one-night stands as something natural and speak about such experiences with ease. The absence of a boyfriend or girlfriend is considered by the greater part of them as some sort of abnormality or even unhealthiness.
It’s important to notice, although, that Orthodox Christianity has nothing against the friendship between males and females. Their joint activities are acceptable too. This prohibition refers mainly to all kinds of romantic relationships, namely - physical contact with someone who is not your partner.
Relationships without feelings
You might find it strange, but there are a lot of supporters of this kind of relationship among Orthodox Christians. What do they think is right about it, and why is the Church against it?
Followers of emotion-free dating are convinced that the attraction men and women feel towards each other is wicked and sinful. They call the usual to all of us relationships concept - “sexocentric“ and demonize character traits that contain even a bit of eroticism. These people find it scary and terrible that such things as passion, affection, and love can’t be controlled by human consciousness. And, therefore, avoid getting into a situation they have no influence on.
Still, true Orthodox believers disapprove of their approach to life. Moreover: relationships without feelings are prohibited in this religion, just like casual dating. The Bible says love is one of the most blessed and beautiful gifts of God to his children. Only a full-fledged mature relationship, based on mutual attraction, could become a fundament for a strong family. Hard to argue with that, though.
So what does the proper Orthodox approach to dating look like?
The short answer to this question is “a committed relationship that leads to blessed marriage.“
Orthodox Christian singles know that God sowed the seeds of erotism in human nature for a specific purpose. He wanted men and women to feel attracted to each other and, as a result, create families. This, according to the Christian Orthodox faith, the only kind of relationship that is not condemned. Furthermore, that echoes the connection between Jesus and the Church. Just like Christ adores it and sacrifices himself for its sake, so the loving husband does for his wife.
From these statements, it becomes clear why Orthodox Christianity does not accept and bless sexual contacts before marriage. From their point of view, such actions demonstrate spiritual immaturity and egoism. Metaphorically speaking, it’s like cutting a rosebud without giving it time to bloom fully. In fact, the best things on the planet are worth changing your plans for. Because it’s only a moment, you need to wait to savor your beloved one’s company and intimacy till the rest of your life.
5 Orthodox rules for dating
Alright, then. We have successfully finished the part with essential knowledge about the Orthodox’s idea of dating. Now you are ready to meet five rules for a relationship with a lady of this religion. Don’t worry: these principles are understandable even for an irreligious person.
Don’t try to change your woman
The ability to see the good, bright sides of your loved one is a great talent. Everyone who wants to spend many years of happiness, mutual respect, and harmony needs to try to build up this quality in himself.
Sure, the day when routine consumes your feelings will come; when you, dissatisfied with some habits of your partner, will see your shared future as vague and uncertain. At this point, ask yourself a question, “ What made me fall in love with this girl?“ Concentrate on the joy your relationship brings and paint a very different picture of your emotions.
Orthodox Christianity teaches us to see good in bad. Sometimes this philosophy helps to take a fresh look at the situation and transform negative into positive. Remember: dating such a woman, do not try to change her. Better make an effort to change your attitude towards her and your couple in general.
Control your temper
This rule particularly applies to anger. Doesn’t matter which one you choose: Greek, Romanian, or Russian Christian dating the fact remains - petulance, fury, quarrels destroy relationships. At the same time, it doesn’t solve any problem, so what is the point of demonstrating it?
When you feel rage, it’s almost impossible to make the right decision since your mind is darkened by the emotional tornado. During anger, it’s better not to speak or do anything at all. Serious conversations can take place only when you are calm: misunderstandings and complaints don’t need extra spices.
Yes, people are different. Arguments are unavoidable - especially if your partner comes from another country. However, loving hearts should always look for a solution together and then come to peace and compromise. That’s what Orthodox Christianity requires.
As for other negative emotions, such as despondency, longing, sadness, etc. - you need to remember that the poison not only affects your life but your girlfriend’s days too. Don’t make her suffer because of your inner demons - it’s unfair.
Delight your significant one
Modern people are surrounded by all kinds of negativity. News on TV, posts on the Internet - it all keeps on telling us about murders, disasters, accidents, and so forth. That’s why it’s so important to get positive emotions from your beloved one. In the opinion of Eastern Orthodox dating experts, partners in the couple need to give each other life energy that serves as inspiration for both.
Therefore, answer honestly: is it difficult to tell your woman something nice, at least a few times a day? Words of affection, gratitude? Actually, one compliment said in the morning can make your lady’s day. You can also agree to thank each other, even for the most ordinary things, like washed dishes after the shared dinner or carrying heavy bags home.
Try to use this rule for several weeks, and you’ll definitely notice the tremendous effect it makes on the atmosphere in your relationship.
Respect each other
In fact, the Bible provides us another wonderful word instead of “respect“ - “honor.“ It much better represents the message Orthodox Christianity is trying to give. According to the teachings of this religion: a male and a female, as a couple, should always praise each other. Not only a woman ought to demonstrate such an attitude to her boyfriend because he is the dominant one, but a man is also obliged to honor his girlfriend. He needs to treat her with care since she is more tender and delicate. Jesus sacrificed himself to show people what true love that demands nothing in return is. He still expects us to wisen up and do the same.
If you want your girl to be good, respect you, listen to your words, why don’t you set her an example of what the right thing to do is? Just think about it.
Talk about all pressing concerns you two have
The Orthodox faith is trying to convince their children that no issue can be left unspoken. Having a conversation about something you worry about, asking for an opinion or advice from your special one - it’s a perfect chance to solve it. Actually, no matter if you agree with her opinion or not. Just hearing it would help you to make a more balanced and correct decision. It is particularly important when you are disturbed about something related to your partner or your couple in general.
Each time you ask for help, your girlfriend realizes that you respect her and care about what she thinks. It will surely strengthen the relationship you are trying to build. In addition, your lady has a different past, another life experience. It means: she views the problem from a new angle and with a fresh perspective. This is important to notice and accept if you want to be happily married in a few year
Where to find an Orthodox girl
Okay, have we made you sure that it’s nothing scary or extraordinary in dating an Orthodox Christian woman? Great! But it’s still an open question in this regard, though. How do you meet such a girl when she lives a thousand miles away from you? Well, there are a couple of ways you can do it - simply go ahead and read our top-3 in this matter.
Orthodox dating websites
Local or international dating services attract many believers to become their members. And really, according to statistics, more than 57% of Christian Orthodox get to know each other through the Internet. Why is it so? Some think that such platforms choose only decent people with remarkable personal qualities - while others just want to limit their search only to co-religionists. However, there are also other reasons why this dating method becomes so popular. Modern religious men and women have a rather small social circle - and want to make new acquaintances beyond colleagues at work or neighbors.
Who joins Orthodox dating sites? You’d be surprised, but people of all ages. In their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and even 60s, they wholeheartedly want to find true love.
There you can find profiles of members, who have never been married yet, as well as those who have certain experience behind. Some of them have children, the others - not. When talking about mature singles - their kids, in most cases, are already grown up. Other good news for Western men - in percentage terms, there are usually more female users on such platforms.
What is so comfortable about this way of dating? You can put aside all unsuitable candidates without spending a minute talking with them! When you go through members’ profiles, human destinies pass before your eyes. The texts they write are distinctly different from each other: light and funny, thorough and thoughtful. Reading their thoughts, you can find out about the profiles’ owners characteristics more than after an hour of chatting. On the other hand, the appearance of your conversationalists, in this case, is no secret since all users download at least one picture each.
The success rate of such services is really through the roof. Why don’t you try your luck there too?
Orthodox speed dating
Yes, speed dating is also popular among religious people. How does it work, then?
This format offers express-date parties for complete strangers. Participants, in this case, should be selected according to the beliefs of Orthodox Christians. Sometimes organizers put certain age restrictions when the party is focused on, for example, mature matchmaking.
What does this look like? The ladies are sitting at tables with numbers. Every 3-7 minutes, men go from one girl to another to get to know them all. After each meeting, participants write down their impression of the candidate on the so-called “fondness card.“ During a classic speed-dating evening, each participant usually has from ten to fifteen one-to-one meetings. Then, when the party's over, organizers collect those notes and send contacts to guests that match.
The biggest disadvantage of this method, compared to an Orthodox Christian dating site, would be your limitation only to local females of this religion (immigrants from Eastern Europe and Balkan countries, in most cases).
Social club at the nearest Orthodox cathedral
Orthodox Church in the cities it's represented in has social clubs. The goal of such organizations is: to unite young religious people, help them in making new friends, create some leisure activities, and etc.
Every Sunday (except Great Lent and Twelve Great Feasts), after a prayer service, meetings of these clubs take place. As a rule, there are 100-120 participants of these events, and even more when the Church organizes concerts, master classes.
If your religion is Orthodox Christianity, joining such a club would give you an excellent chance to meet the love of your life.
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Orthodox girls dating FAQ
How do Orthodox girls start dating?
If we talk about the age when Orthodox Christian girls generally start dating, it would be 16-18 years. Of course, it doesn’t mean that such a romance allows amorous frivolities. It’s rather about mutual fondness and care, appropriate to the age.
However, there are a lot of religious females who need more time to discover their femininity. They, therefore, enter into relationships much later - at the age of 20-25 years. It’s nothing wrong with them: they just develop at their own pace.
At the same time, Orthodox Christianity finds it wrong to get married at a very young age. In this case, a man and woman in a couple haven’t achieved psychological maturity yet; and definitely need more time to establish a deeper emotional connection.
Who is an average Orthodox girlfriend?
Orthodox people call kindness - the beauty of a woman’s soul. This personal quality is quite typical for ladies of this religion.
On the other hand, Christian Orthodox girls are very feminine. Their charm is in modesty and empathy. It is natural for such a female to give understanding, extra care, and compassion to her partner. She always tries to do something that would make her loved one happy.
This religion teaches a woman to honor her parents. Not less respect is given to a boyfriend/spouse either.
Love for children is also associated with Orthodox females.
How do I meet an Orthodox girl?
Like we’ve mentioned before, the highest chances to meet an Orthodox woman offer the world wide web. Namely, we advise you to choose one of the hundreds of sites for singles of this faith. There you can make new acquaintances without leaving your house and don’t limit your search only to the ladies of your country.
Can a relationship work without kissing?
Yes, of course - at least, Orthodox Christianity believes so. Avoiding all kinds of physical contact, in fact, is a rule of this religion. It doesn’t only disapprove of kissing, hugging, and other acts of intimacy but also sees that as a great sin.
How long should the Orthodox date?
There is no exact term given in the Bible. However, true believers often name the most appropriate age for starting a family. They think that such an important step should be made when a man is about 25 years old, and a woman - 22-23 years old. Orthodox are sure: exactly at this age, young people reach a certain maturity, both physical and mental.
Should an Orthodox date a non-Orthodox?
All facts we know say that Orthodox are not allowed to date non-Orthodox. Still, modern priests treat “law-breakers“ leniently.
What to know about dating an Orthodox girl?
Christian Orthodox dating is about chastity. This faith requires a woman to remain a virgin till the marriage day. A bride is innocent - that’s why the color of her dress is white. Those are the rules. The same behavior, actually, is to be expected from a man, too - it goes without saying.